Friday, June 13, 2014

How to Help A Loved One Overcome Addiction Part 1

Spiritual Advisor Jordan Canon
For the benefit of our new members, the subject of these blogs are based on the content of spiritual counseling sessions.

The logic is: If people are writing in about a specific topic, there may be others with the same question or situation. Over the last few months, helping friends or family members overcome addiction has been
"off the charts" in the frequency of requests submitted.

If you find yourself in this situation, I think you will find some understanding on how you help you eventually help someone overcome their addiction.

The Book of Jordan

Addiction is a disease.  It is a temptation harnessing the dark energy of temptation and the addiction consumes the addicted person's soul.  It's extremely difficult to endure the pain, stress, and problems of an addiction involving someone you love. 

There are many emotions a person may feel when dealing with an addiction crisis; hopelessness, anger, frustration, fear, sadness, disappointment, stress, and judgment

As a sober individual watching an addict, these emotions often flood our own souls because usually a sober person's mind cannot easily understand how someone they love so very much could transform and allow addiction to take over his or her life (and soul).  The addict's mind is different.  It doesn't see.  And that fact alone is a difficult concept to grasp. 

How does he or she not see that his or her actions are harnessing temptation's dark energy?  How can he or she not see their actions make loved one's feel that he or she no longer care?  How can he or she not see that everything negative going on in his or her life is a direct (or indirect) consequence of the abuse of drugs or alcohol?  How can he or she not see the hurt loved ones are feeling and that relationships are suffering or ending because of the addiction? 

Again, remember an addict's mind is consumed by temptation and temptation tries very hard to make sure an addict cannot see things in the same light of a sober person.  The only focus on an addict's mind is how to get his or her next fix or how to get enough money for his or her addiction.  An addict usually isolates himself or herself from non-addicts to avoid having to face reality.  Addiction doesn't just affect an addict; it affects the family and friends of the addict too. 

Even though this may be difficult to see, an addict still possesses the soul you love and miss.  The goodness and light of the addict's soul still exists, buried deep within him or her; though this may be extremely hard for someone dealing with the stressful situation to recognize.  Again, ADDICTION is a disease and like any disease, it needs energy and work to heal. 

While it is true no one can cure an addict who doesn't want to be cured, but that doesn't mean there isn't a way loved ones can unite and offer support that will help an addict overcome his or her addiction. 

The website says over and over, we only evolve through our relationships.  Helping a loved one battle addiction is a very big opportunity for a person's own evolution.  The patience, love, selflessness, and sacrifice that it takes to help an addict harness the strongest, most virtuous energy that exists in this universe.  The emotions described in the first paragraph harness the most negative energy and are more in tune with the Seven Deadly Sins
Of course you may be thinking that it is impossible to remain loving, patient and selfless in what seems to be a hopeless situation and naturally want to blame the addict for all his or her wrongdoing. 

Nothing is impossible and sometimes the most challenging obstacles offer the strongest opportunities for one top prove that impossible can become "I'm Possible" when one's mind and actions transform.
What outcome do you wish to see for your loved one plagued with the sickness of addiction?  Do you want his or her soul to be healed and return to whom he or she once was?  And if the answer is yes, then my next question is what you are willing to sacrifice and work at about yourself to give the outcome the best possibility of success.  As with any challenge, it is not about the energy and effort put in, it is about the TYPE OF ENERGY AND EFFORT
Love is always stronger than hate but that doesn't mean you have to fill yourself with love. You choose to LOVE no matter what.  But you can also choose to hate.  Both choices lead to completely different paths of destiny for your soul and the soul of your loved ones.  Anger is the strongest negative emotion and can destroy any chance of repairing the damage caused by addiction.  I am not underestimating the work and effort it takes for a person to not hate, not be angry at or judge an addict.  An addict lies, steals, cheats, manipulates, and creates havoc for families.
But remember, the addict is sick. But love is again the strongest virtuous energy and when one holds love in their heart and is driven by love, not hate, amazing things can happen.  Now, it is not just about "feeling" love but demonstrating your love. It is about your actions, your sacrifices, your tone of voice, and ultimately every decision made over a period of time. Lashing out at an addict only increases his or her desire to escape and usually has the opposite affect; leading the addict straight to drugs or alcohol to escape.  An addict's soul knows exactly what he or she is doing and he or she will try to avoid facing reality at any cost. The goal is to awaken the light in the addict's soul.
Healing doesn't happen overnight, but it can happen. Chances grow stronger when loved ones unite and decide to work together to organize a precise plan of action.  Strong and united efforts in loving support, demonstrated by firm and organized action can make a difference over time.  But a plan is only as good as the execution which means anyone involved in the battle against addiction MUST BE READY TO MAKE SACRIFICES and also be consistent with his or her efforts.  Again, please let me remind you that patience, love, consistency, sacrifice, non-judgment, and support (support doesn't mean enable!) are the energies one must work to possess during the difficult time of fighting addiction. You have to maintain a positive relationship so the addict will naturally turn to you for help when they are ready to receive it.
Enabling is not necessarily done on purpose, but in most situations doesn't help an addict face his or her reality.  If he or she is "getting by" in life and still able to be an addict then there is typically no real need to change - according to the mind of an addict.  I suggest you refrain from giving an addict ANY MONEY.  This includes money for incidentals like food, clothing and gas. Enabling also comes in the form of making excuses for an addict's actions.  My suggestion is if he or she misses work or something else, do not cover for him or her.  Accountability for actions is another key fact that will help an addict escape denial and realize his or her addiction is ruining his or her present and future.
Communication is another key. If you are an individual working with others to heal an addict, I suggest you work on OPEN COMMUNICATION.  No matter how stressful the situation may get, the TEAM SHOULD CONSIDER THE IMPORTANCE OF WORKING TOGETHER AND AVOIDING CONFLICT WITH EACH OTHER. 

Think of a baseball team that has great talent and are off to a great start to the season.  If that team fails to communicate with each other, the affect may be felt on the field.  A great play that could've happen never actually happens.  Then, the breakdown of communication could cause tension between team members, leading to arguments harnesses temptation's energy.  At the end of the season, the team misses the playoffs.  What path could the team (similar to your addiction battling team) have created if they maintained communication and continued to work together in a positive way?  The answer - they could've been champions.
Work with the Universe, not Temptation
The universe will create "events" for the addict and provide opportunity for them to make a change. This could be an arrest, or an overdose as an example. These events will increase if the addict remains on their current path. We are all subject to universal events.

Eventually the addict will reach a point where denial is no longer an option and a crossroad presents itself.  When the addict is ready to choose the path to the light and wishes to overcome the grasp of his or her drug or alcohol addiction, this is a crucial time when the words of this blog could make all the difference between success and failure.  An addict will most likely need help. This is when SELFLESS LOVE is most important.
What do you think the addict's chances of success will be without the love and support of a sober, responsible loved one?  Remember, love is the opposite of hate.  Anger is not an energy representing love.   No matter what the circumstance are, the minute you let anger into your heart there is no room for love. 

No matter what situation, your soul always has the choice whether to love or to hate. You have to remain "zen," and do not get drawn into an angered or frustrated argument, as you will only be helping temptation do its work. 

At the end of your long, difficult road, you may be surprised to see you've found you're loved once again.  You may also be surprised to see that your soul grew and is stronger than it was when you started down this journey.  Usually, difficult journeys lead to a point where you look back and are able to smile and shake your head and say, "YES, all the pain, heartache, work, and sacrifice were worth it."

The love and light will not only exist in your eyes but in the eyes of your loved one who at one point you might of thought was gone forever.

The only limits in this world are the limits we set for ourselves.  Change your mind, change the energy you harness in your heart and soul, and work toward the goal you wish to achieve and you may just see that you not only achieve great change, but prove to yourself something that you at one point thought was impossible.  Remember, I'm Possible is a different way a writing IMPOSSIBLE.

PS - If the situation is severe, please consider an interventionist.  How to execute a successful intervention will be Part 2 of this blog topic.
 Love and light, 

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