I really do not know if you can help me. I live in a bad environment that will not allow for me to concentrate and help myself. It has been really hard. When I was a child anything I ever did was never good enough for my father. As I grew older my brothers and sister have bad views about me because they got it from him. I have been talked about very badly. I have given up on things a lot because I feel like it does not matter any way because I feel there is a dominating evil negative perceptions always judging me. I have always had a hard time and cannot keep a job because people are always harassing me. Up to this point I been feeling very depressed because I am almost 40 yrs old even though I do not look it. I feel like I have not accomplished anything, I have been in college for three yrs now, but I feel like it’s not enough. I also do light work online to help the world evolve, I call that my secret life. Right now I feel like I am suffocating like I just need to get away from all this negative energy but I do not have the funds to do it, I am scared to get a job because I feel I can’t deal with people anymore, I was born here in this small town and I feel like I want to be free and get away, I feel like I cannot carry on here anymore. I tried to find a Buddhist monastery where I can stay and meditate and just peel away my ego and be born but I have not found anything.
Thank you for sharing your situation with me. Often, we do not realize the affects of having parents who are tough on us and express their love through toughness. Every soul is different and has a unique set of challenges. We can only work on our own soul's evolution and change ourselves. However, we can help the ones around us and in our circle by loving and understanding him or her without any judgment or anger. Love is the strongest energy of the light, anger is the strongest energy of the dark.
It’s great that you are working toward a college degree! That is not easy and requires a lot of hard work and discipline. You should be proud of yourself.
The past is the past and cannot be undone. What is changeable is your present and your future. SO what if today you decide to work toward letting go of the affect other people's opinion has on you? Instead of thinking of past mistakes, why not focus on what you can create in the future for yourself and the ones you love. This isn't necessarily an easy goal and will take significant time and effort, But most wonderful things in life require hard work.
I often remind people that no matter how tempting it is to run from the negativity surrounding him or her, the true test of your strength is to be able to harness the light in even the darkest of situations. Perhaps you may want to consider ways you can learn to maintain your positive energy even when faced with negative energy? Perhaps meditation or yoga? Or maybe you may want to read the articles on the website, if you haven't already. All of the articles are there to teach people how to create the environment he or she wishes to experience. Often it is said, knowledge is key solution to any problem.
Another consideration for you is a free personal astrology reading. This is a free service to members of the website's newsletter and is a direct communication with your soul. With this reading, you can learn about your soul’s natural strengths and challenges. Think of it as the road-map to your soul. It touches on every possible path, and every possible energy that exists for your soul. However, nothing in this reading is set in stone. Ultimately, your choices and how you harness free will determines which path you take for your life.
Remember, the past is the past. Today can be the beginning of a whole new life. True freedom is releasing the affects of the past and freeing your soul from the captivity it feels from the affects of past hurts. You can do it! Let your soul's light shine bright!
Love and Light,