Are you Willing to Wait for your Soul Mate?

Hello Jordan,

I have been more involved than usual in my spiritual growth. In so doing, I have been releasing pain-body experiences on a deeper heart level from childhood and more recent learning crises. I feel more balanced and secure...even better than before. 

My midlife crisis seemed to begin 2010 to now. I have had a deep soul mate connection with a cancer male for nearly 15 years. I have been romantically involved with him two times..Once in 2000 and one time a couple months in 2012. We remain friends, and I knew I had feelings...but only intellectually. I knew I wanted a relationship but was not ready. He wasn’t either...but we found a deep spiritual and chemical relationship that at times was too scary to think about. I know he wants safety. I wasn’t safe for love until October of 2013. 

I done a lot of deep soul searching and feel I am the person I love and want to be, and am capable of a soul mate deeply committed relationship. I know he has feelings, but I am certain he isn't ready. I am deeply empathetic toward this, and have on an intellectual level let it go. At timed I feel my heart has to a large degree, but there are still times the sadness of not being with him brings an inner sadness as it is he who helped me be the best version of myself. 

We are great friends and I sense he is sad we are not more as well. But he lives several states away, are in an internship, and finishing a degree. His girls 19 and 17 are nearby. He is practical and feels it is unrealistic. In his view he is correct. He has also been burned by past loves this lifetime. So he has that cross to bear. I would like to know if there are key strategies to release further the deep connection. 

As while I’m extremely grateful what we have, and will honour it always...to move on and detach consistently is difficult. It feels as if I have until I try to call in the one...and my deep heart releases more connections. I don’t feel devasted.. But there is a sadness losing a dear loved one due to death. Maybe it just takes time. I have visualized cords being removed and to my knowledge they are. Since it is fresh that one I opted to feel deeply and Two I have to now let it go....it is just a matter of time. We have been great friends over the years, but I chose not to go too far because I had unfinished business and found myself carping and harping in ways not me. I went inward and healed which was good. He drew from me in carping stage, but I was so aware and willing to amend, he could still feel amicable. There is a strong physical attraction which is unheard of for both if us. We almost met last spring but I sensed his reticence after he initially happily agreed, circumstances financially were not ideal so I let it go. To date we are still friends, though we text much less as he appears to be in his cave. With that I have let it be. I miss the friendship, but I cherish time within and no that the separation is a gift to myself. 

While intellectually knowing this and he artfully accepting and loving him as a friend and past lover...emotionally I get blindsided and I grieve the loss. I accept and love myself through this, but is there something else I should be doing to integrate the grieving into acceptance more fully. Or does this just take time. You know Virgos..to even let down guarded intellect and delve emotionally realizing only authentic truth of being real and heartful..For no expectation or reason t reach out similarly believe he would was quite hard. I did let him know I would rather be in his arms many miles away and not with one closer with no connection. He was touched and was more open in wishing me well and agreeing we have had a deep connection over the years. It is still his way to stay detached and I live him where he is. But still all I can do is release the energies of an us. 

A little hard as I visualize what it could have been. I used your compatibility with his birth date and mine. And we rocked it, according to the report. It is like I just want to put o. my soulmate wants spreadsheet: give me everything on this report. Just find the one who is ready for it. Someone just like him who is free and clear. I know it juts him that he can’t be what I want...from an intuitive standpoint that is. Thanks for listening as I have no one who would understand my emotions and spiritual affect at this time.

Best Regards,

Laura

Hello Laura, 

Wow, what a great job expressing how you feel and analyzing the situation for what it is.  Virgo's have a natural ability to see each detail and analyze until any situation makes perfect sense.  What is impressive, is your email doesn't show any criticism or negativity regarding the situation, something that is at times a challenge for Virgos.  Way to go! 

A soul mate connection is when both people are ready to commit fully and without any hesitation.  You seem to be in tune with your inner self and I guess the question I'll leave you to think about is whether you are willing and capable to love this man patiently and wait for him to also look within and find his way to you.  If it is meant to be and you harness the virtuous energy of the light, perhaps fate may work its hand.  Time is a concept we often hold too much regard for.  So here's another question:  IF it takes one month or ten years, would you rather walk away and give up or wait for this possible soul mate to find his way to you? 

There is no definites in our world.  The best one you can do is to (as you seem to be doing), work on your own soul and choices and leave the rest up to the universe.  

What makes this difficult for most, is when temptation sneaks into your mind and soul and tries to create doubt, anger, frustration, and many other negative feelings.  It’s not always easy to resist temptation, which is why life often seems like a dance - two steps forward and one step back. 

Keep up the great work on your personal evolution!! 

Love and Light, 

Jordan Canon 
Spiritual Advisor 
Free-Spiritual-Guidance.com

 

Is He the One?

Hello Jordan,

I met someone a little over 2 years ago and my life has never been the same since. When we met, I was in a committed relationship (and still am) which somewhat pushed him to do the same. Yet, he chose to have an open-relationship with his mate because he is unable to stay fixed on a single partner. He's very touchy about being tied down, talks often about the need to be "free".  He lost his mother to cancer at age 14 and lost his first fiance to a tragic car crash in his early 20's.

In many ways we are polar opposites (living in different countries, coming from very different religions, having a substantial age difference), yet the bond created between us was instantaneous and stronger than any I ever experienced before. We cause each other enormous amounts of pain because we communicate in different ways, we have gone to the depths of hell and back, and yet the connection stays strong and unconditional.

I am literally obsessed by this person day and night and it s driving me to distraction. On the one hand, I wish I had never met him because I have known so much agony since then, and on the other hand, I am deathly afraid of losing him. He claims to love me and yet certain behaviors of his lead me to believe otherwise.  For example, he communicates more often with others than with me. I am in a constant state of doubt.

Can you give me any ideas on what this relationship is all about and how I can be less traumatized by it?

By the way, you already sent me a Synastry report, which I have and have read carefully, but I believe that my situation calls for additional guidance.

Thank You,

Liz

Hi Liz,

Thanks for writing in and sharing your feelings about the man in your life and a Happy and healthy 2014 to you.

Soul mate connections may exist between people; however, environmental and personal circumstances do at times prevent a soul mate connection from becoming a soul mate relationship.  When you envision your soul mate relationship, do you envision both you and your partner having other partners as well?  Do you envision spending each night falling asleep with the one you love or thinking of the one you love who is in another country?  These questions are meant to have you look at what your mind and heart believe a perfect soul mate relationship would be.  Have you visited the website and read the articles on How to find a soul mate?  These articles are meant to teach people how to put the right energy into the right actions that will ultimately bring the reader closer to the soul mate relationship he or she is looking for.


Perhaps you may want to think about whether this man has the potential of being the person you can experience the soul mate relationship with, or if it is the "idea" of what could be that you can't let go of.  What is it that you want more - the amazing experience of a soul mate relationship, even if with someone other than this gentleman, OR the current relationship you have with this gentleman, despite its many limitations, is it enough to make you satisfied and feel complete?

Love and Light,

JordanCanon
Spiritual Advisor
Free-Spiritual-Guidance.com

How Do You KNow You've Found Your Soul Mate?

I just read your section on finding a soul mate. I was really intrigued by it, and can't tell you how much I love your website. I had a question for you based off of that section. The man I am with currently was someone that I felt this internal pull towards for a long time. 

Even though my mind would try to direct me otherwise, my inner just was so drawn to him, and eventually he became my boyfriend. I love him dearly, almost right away, which is hard for me as I usually take my time! However, I am not sure if he is my soul mate - he is a Sagittarius and we are clashing already. So my question to you is, how do you know when you have found your soul mate? I just felt at the beginning that this is my future husband, but doesn't everyone feel this way and yet not everyone ends up together? 

Sharon K.
Pisces


Hello Sharon,

Thank you for your consideration (about asking whether you can ask your question on top of requesting a compatibility reading)!  You can write in anytime with any question.  My counseling is totally open for anyone and any question. 

Your question is a great one!  It is very wise of you to be thinking in the way that you are about your relationship.  Many people when they feel that internal pull (attraction for lack of better words), fall head over heels and go for it. In some cases, the attraction creates blinders to everything else and its not until much later that people question whether or not they chose the right person.

Not everyone is a soul mate candidate, though there are certain people who are predestined to enter your life and are what you can consider possible soul mates.  No matter what happens, these possible soul mates are meant to enter your life for some reason or another and there is usually an opportunity to learn and evolve from the relationship, whether it is the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with or not.  You see, timing is another aspect to the equation.  A soul mate candidate may come into your life; however one or both of you may not be ready.  By ready, I mean that perhaps one or the other person hasn't evolved into the person he or she could be, the person that would make the connection last through the rough times.  I say rough times because every relationship will have challenges.  Even the perfect ones! 

That is why there are a few pages on guiding people on how to find his or her soul mate.  You see, the spark is necessary but isn't the end all be all.  To find your true, lasting soul mate, first one has to spend some time deciding what the qualities your looking for in your soul mate are.  For example, a person may not respond well to anger and yelling (not everyone does), so on this list the person may write gentle and patient.  With time and with experience in relationships, people often learn what it is they are looking for in a person. 

The most overlooked step and perhaps the most important is the self evaluation where its suggested each person look at himself or herself and ask if my Prince Charming entered my life tomorrow, would he look at me and the person I am and feel the same way?  This doesn't mean that a person should go get plastic surgery and go on a crash diet.  Rather, with everything spiritual, it is within that matters most. 

Another example to explain is if someone writes on their "ideal soul mate list"  I want someone fit, well this ideal soul mate probably works out routinely in order to stay fit, right?  Would the ideal soul mate want a couch potato or someone to go to the gym or for a nice walk with, right?

To summarize (this is a topic I can write on and on about and sometimes get into too much detail!), I can't answer whether this man is your true soul mate (only you can), but can suggest you spend some time with the exercises suggested on the website's How to Find a Soul Mate (if you haven't already!!). 

Lastly, remember every relationship requires work, patience, understanding, and love.  If you harness these and take an honest self evaluation of what you want, who you are, what you can do to make the relationship even stronger, and whether or not this man is truly your ideal soul mate, you may find the answer was within you the entire time.

Feel free to ask any questions!
 
Love and Light,

Jordan Canon
Spiritual Advisor
Free-Spiritual-Guidance.com

Can't I Just Find a Soul Mate Who Accepts Me as I Am?

I like to focus on subjects that frequently come up in spiritual counseling sessions. One of these subjects has to do with soul mates, finding a soul mate, or improving a relationship with an existing soul mate.

I think it's a wonderful thing that so many people want to find and improve the relationships, and I hope this newsletter helps get you the path to do just that.

I'm not going to go into the whole process of how to find a soul mate because it's posted at the website, but one question that keeps popping up is:

Can't I just find someone who accepts me as I am? 

Technically, yes you can. But why would you want to?

The great thing about the universe, which is nothing more than an environment creator, is that it will create your future  environment based on what you are willing to invest time, effort, and energy into. I like to use the example of maintaining a lawn. If you drive down any street on any block, you will find some lawns perfectly immaculate, and some lawns in need of attention. The quality of the lawn is based on the amount of time, effort and energy that particular homeowner puts it to maintaining it.

So if your soul is closer to a lawn in the need of attention, and you choose not to improve, or evolve your soul before you seek a soul mate, the universe will match you up with a soul mate also in need of attention.

Any soul that is "need," takes energy instead of giving it. The best spiritual relationships occur when two souls give energy without measuring what they receive in return. Apply this rule of charitable energy applies to anything you do, and if you harness the energy of this skill, the universe will reward you in ways you can't imagine today. This goes for soul mate relationships too.

What is someone really saying when they say: "Can't someone just love me for me as I am?" more often than not, from what I hear a spiritual counseling sessions, it means they're not willing to work to prove their own soul and evolve, or if they are willing to do work, they are not willing to do a lot of work.

So since the universe can only create your future environment based on the investment of energy through your effort, the universe can only send you someone of equal energy, balance, and evolutionary skills. If that is the perfect soul mate relationship for you, and that is what you were looking to experience for the rest of your life, yes someone can accept you for what you are. But the quality of that acceptance is equal to your own quality, and your future soul mate's decision to accept you.

A potential soul mate that may be on evolutionary scale of 7 out of 10, is not likely to have the desire to accept a soul mate on an evolutionary scale of 4. If you want a partner that is a 7, than you have become a 7, or maybe a 7.5. All you have to become a 7.5 is act like one. Act is short of action. How are you not an angel if your actions are angelic? 

A soul mate relationship is one of the most powerful loving energies you will experience during your time here. To find someone because you're lonely, you just came out of a bad marriage, your biological clock is ticking, or you need financial security, are some examples of someone who puts their own needs first and doesn't focus on what they have to contribute to a soul mate relationship. A highly evolved potential soul mate would be likely to pat on you on the head and wish you a good day.

And rightly so. This potential soul mate is looking for a source to give charitable energy. Energy is power; power comes with responsibility, and if you are not yet evolved enough to accept their power, then you cannot complete a circuit for their energy.

As important as it is to make a list of everything you want from your relationship, it is equally important to identify what you need to prove yourself to be able to give with maximum effort and energy. To create a list is a wonderful start. I call it spiritual enlightenment meaning you make a list of all the possibilities you want in the future you are willing to create.

But equally important is that you actually do something to make this list a reality, and that's where people tend to fall short of what you are capable of experiencing in the future. Your own happiness, might I even say bliss, is totally of your own effort. It has nothing to do with your soul mate. Harness the energy of yourself, which is the only soul you can evolve, the universe will reward you in ways you can't imagine today.

But if you do nothing, and choose not to evolve, your return on your efforts is very imaginable. Chances are good you'll repeat the same quality relationships repeatedly,  what I call the Groundhog Day Effect, (after the Bill Murray movie) until you finally do something about it.


Love and light,
Jordan Canon
Spiritual Advisor
Free-Spiritual-Guidance.com